39w5d

Well here I am, 2 days from my due date with #4 and I'm STILL pregnant!
I can't say that I'm particularly surprised...but I had hoped that I wouldn't make it to this point with this one, but as they say, history repeats itself! :)

I went to the doctor today and he said I'm 1-1.5cm dilated, not quite enough to strip my membranes, not enough to be inducible either (which is okay, I wouldn't even consider that at this point). I do have an induction scheduled on the 15th though, but of course it all depends on how everything looks on the 14th (hopefully I won't go that far though). It still kinda blows me away that all of my pregnancies have been so similar. Jeremy told me last night that my uterus must be the "happiest place on earth" since none of our babies want to leave it! :) This little guy still has just over a day to make his appearance and beat his siblings by not being overdue--and also setting a world record by coming on his own. It's that whole "coming on his own" thing that I'm hoping for. I really, really, really would love to experience going into labor naturally...without having to wait until I'm ridiculously overdue. I know the exact date this little guy was conceived, so he has no excuse for being late...not to mention that all of my ultrasound dates have been dead on with the due date.

It's so funny though because I have a post on here from when I was 39w4d with Luke...

I'm wondering if there is any chance that I'll go into labor BEFORE my due date...or at least CLOSE to it. I'm still not in a particular hurry, but it'd be nice if it happened soon. The girls have gymnastics today, so of course I don't want it to happen this morning, but this afternoon would be good for me! Considering I'm as far along as I am, there's not too much going on. Random contractions, aches and pains...but no sign of impending labor. Then again, every woman I talk to has a different story and each one insists you "just know" when it's the real thing. We'll see. I'm hoping I have an opportunity to experience the real thing.

Hmmmm...sounds strangely familiar! Oh well, what can I do? Practice patience, stay well rested, take advantage of being able to sleep and enjoy the blessings I have right now.

I have had more contractions today than any other days...nothing consistent by any means, but slightly on the uncomfortable side, enough to let me know that SOMETHING is going on. I don't dare tell anyone though because then I feel like I need to explain myself, or that I'm being put on the spot in some way or another...as if I have a choice in any of this stuff my body is doing...so until they become painful enough to breathe through...and fairly regular, my lips shall stay zipped. As I type this little wiggle worm is squirming around like mad...it amazes me that all of this kicking and motion DOESN'T break one's water! It's a pretty amazing mechanism the Lord has created that this "bag" can hold up for 9 months, holding a SIGNIFICANT amount of weight, undergoing kicking and pushing and stretching...all it takes to break it is a tiny pin prick, and yet it doesn't break when a 7lb critter kicks with all his might. Amazing.
I'm going to miss these little wiggles...I do have to say that I enjoy (mostly) being pregnant. There are definite discomforts and downsides (mainly due to the fact that I'm overweight), but this pregnancy has been quite good. I'm achy and tired, but considering I'm about to deliver, I'm doing pretty good. God is so good to me...and I'm so excited about this new chapter in my life, in the lives of my whole family. We have so many new things happening, so many changes...and it will be so fun to see where the Lord leads us.

Alrighty, I need to get some rest, just in case! :)

Luke is a classic...

...a classic what, I'm not sure, but he's definitely a classic!! Today he had gotten in trouble for hitting Abby. He and Abby have issues regularly that usually deteriorate to one hitting the other and then usually the other will hit back, both cry and both have to be disciplined--especially considering the fact that Abby is twice Luke's age. So today he had been disciplined for hitting Abby on the trampoline and I told him he lost the privilege of jumping on the trampoline for the rest of the day. After a while he really wanted to go back on and he was being really good...and I was asked to break parenting rule #1--don't give a consequence you don't intend on keeping. *sigh*, sometimes I WONDER why we have these issues! Anyway, he looked at me with those darling, big, brown eyes and said, "Mommy, I'm being good...I'm being nice now." I figured that the REST OF THE DAY was a long time for a 3 year old to comprehend so I was getting ready to give in and my dad said, "Luke, what does 'being good' or 'being nice' look like?" Luke walked toward Savannah, who was sitting in the chair he had been in previously, looking fully like he was going to give a sincere demonstration of 'being good' and 'being nice'. My mom, dad and I were on the edges of our seats, ready for this...he walked up to Savannah, got right in her face and yelled, "You're in MY SPOT!"
I'm sorry to say, we could NOT help from laughing...and then he jumped on the trampoline and behaved himself for the rest of the evening. I'm so ashamed of myself...but man, he sure is a character.

Some funny stuff...

Children never cease to amaze me with the funny things they come up with...the things they'll do or say and the window it gives me into how their funny little brains work. I wish I were more organized and spent the time to write all of the things down that I'd like to remember, but I don't...but occasionally I do sit down and record some of these gems.

Yesterday I was getting Luke ready for church and I put his long sleeved button up shirt on him, followed by his blue sweater vest. He looked down and said, "I look like a doctor!". I thought it was so cute and so thoughtful...and interesting since I don't know when the last time he saw a doctor dressed up nicely would have been.

Last night Abby was lying on her bed, sticking out her belly as far as it would go and she said, "I'm having contractions!!!". Goofy girl!

Speaking of that goofy girl...she fell out of her bed last night. That's not a terribly uncommon happening for her...she is a WILD sleeper. The other night I woke up and she was sitting up against the wall, straight up, sleeping. I had to tell her to lie down. The whole thing with her falling out of bed amazes me though because our beds are REALLY close together, so close in fact, that it's rather difficult to go between them and turn around in the opposite direction...so the space she fell into when she fell out of bed could NOT have been comfortable. She had NO recollection of it this morning. Amazing.

Savannah doesn't have as many funny, silly stories because she's a big, mature 8 year old...but she is definitely a sweetie and a cutie. This morning I woke to Luke, all dressed and ready for the day because his big sister Savannah had gotten him up, she took him potty, wiped his bottom (to make him fresh after sleeping in a wet diaper), and she got him dressed. What a blessing it is to have such a HUGE helper. I know that with the arrival of this little one, I'm going to have Savannah and Abby to count on for all the help I'll need with Luke (who is himself quite independent), and also with the baby. What a blessing to have older children to help out.

Soap Nuts vs. Vinegar...a cleaning test (also my opinion of Charlie's Soap vs. Soap Nuts for laundry)

I've been reading up on natural/frugal cleaning products at Passionate Homemaking and have decided that although I don't have "environmental" qualms with harsh cleaning products, I do have "health and well-being" reasons to look into natural AND frugal cleaning products. I'm not completely sold on the whole "natural" cleaning thing as I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my Clorox Clean-up and will never stop using that in my bathrooms and kitchen to make sure all the cooties are killed, HOWEVER, today as I was cleaning my bathroom, I sprayed vinegar all over the mirror and didn't have to be concerned that it was landing on the toothbrushes. That brings me peace of mind. I want my children to grow up as healthy as possible, and I can definitely see the benefits of limiting their exposure to toxic chemicals. Soooo, that said, I've ordered myself some Soap Nuts and have decided to give them a whirl.

I'm quite sure that I'm going to go the cloth diaper route with this baby, so I have been looking at different laundry detergents and have discovered that Charlie's Soap is a fantastic product; inexpensive, non-toxic, biodegradable, etc. It's also highly recommended for most cloth diapers...so I bought some of that. I tried Charlie's Soap and I tried Soap Nuts for my laundry. I have to be fair and say that I've only used Soap Nuts ONCE, vs. using Charlie's Soap regularly lately. I'm a big fan of Charlie's Soap for laundry. My clothes look good, they smell good...and I know that this TINY bag of laundry detergent is going to last me a very, very long time.

Okay, back to the Soap Nuts vs. Vinegar thing. So today I decided that I'd clean the bathroom counter and toilet with Soap Nuts--I'd made the concentrated liquid about a week ago and it's been sitting around in the fridge waiting for me to put it into a spray bottle. So I did...and I'm glad I did. I used vinegar on the mirror (not sure how soap nuts would work on glass, I haven't tried that yet), and soap nuts on the toilet. It worked great on the toilet...didn't leave streaks, and it looks nice and clean (as I said above...I'm a bit of a germaphobe and would not feel confident using SOLELY soap nuts on my toilet--but I wanted to see how it would look), then I went to the bathroom counter. The counter always seems to be dirty...go figure with 3 children and 3 (sometimes 4) adults sharing one bathroom!! So I used soap nuts on one half and vinegar on the other. I had already convinced myself that vinegar would be the way to go...but lo and behold!! I was NOT a fan of how the vinegar worked versus the soap nuts! The vinegar was pretty similar to using straight water (although I know it was doing more than what water would do), I don't like when I wipe something down, for any watery stuff to stay on the counter. With the soap nuts spray, it wiped neatly, left no streaks and looked wonderful. Here I had convinced myself that maybe soap nuts were just not for me...I am now a believer! Now I just need to find MORE ways to utilize them, tangible ways that I know I'll use them (because I'm not sure about using them as shampoo!).

Next on my agenda will be to try to make my own dishwasher detergent and laundry detergent (this may have to wait until we move into our own home). I also just ordered the entire Homestead Blessings DVD collection and am looking forward to trying my hand at soap making and yogurt making among other things...so stay tuned!

Random Thoughts on a Rainy May Afternoon

It's raining, it's pouring...it's MAY for heaven's sake!!! This has to be the craziest spring we've ever had...at least as long as I've been alive. We have had more rainy days per week than sunny since, oh, November?! We've had a few tastes of "spring" so far this spring, but no more than 2 or 3 nice days in a row, rudely interrupted by rain or snow...or both. Yesterday and today have been extremely unsettled...sun, rain, thundershowers, hail...it's crazy! Thankfully we haven't planted a garden yet, otherwise all the plants would be dead. It's fun to sit here though and watch the critters outside. It amazes me how, in the midst of a downpour, you can open the door and hear the robins singing their little hearts out. It was hailing pea-sized hail a while ago and the squirrels were out collecting nuts, as if it was just another nice, spring day. My dad had taken his backhoe out and tilled the earth so he could get rid of some of the weeds and prepare the ground for some rye seed he was going to plant (apparently it's a great grass seed--so far it looks very pretty where he's planted it before) and the act of digging up that earth along with this rain has made the birds (including the wild turkeys) and the squirrels some very happy campers. It looks as if most of the seed may have been washed away though...bummer. Oh well, another opportunity for the children to learn to scatter seed (they really enjoy that).

So here I am, 38 weeks pregnant today...trying to summon the energy to do the things I'd like to do, all while fighting the urge to curl up and nap the afternoon away. I feel the time with my children before this baby arrives slipping away, and I'm unable to grasp hold of it due to lack of energy/stamina/desire. I think I'm in a better state of mind this time around though, knowing that adding a child to this family is in no way taking away from what we've already got. Another child is a blessing, an addition, a new adventure. In the past I've always seen a baby as a time sink. I know that sounds horrible, but it's true. I've always kinda had a fear of babies (I'm sure having a baby like Savannah didn't help that fear out!), of the time they take, the sleep they rob...and haven't truly seen them as an asset until a certain age (usually around 2-3 when they become more independent). However, I've done some heart-searching and have realized that I've been looking at it all wrong. In the past week or so I've had a couple of panic attacks (okay, not THAT serious), thinking, "Oh my goodness...I'm NOT READY", but as I've prayed about it (granted, I have not prayed ENOUGH), I've come to realize that I'm really looking forward to meeting this precious little blessing. Even though it will be a slight upheaval to life as we know it, the joy and pleasure he will add to this family is truly something to look forward to. So now I'm finding myself eager to go into labor (think it'll happen naturally this time?!?!) so that I can meet him and we can begin this adventure as a family of 6--while trying not to rush this precious time I have with my children before he arrives (no doubt a little SUNSHINE would help the wait though!). I honestly cannot believe that I'm 38 weeks pregnant though. I feel the strain on my body, the exhaustion and the aches and pains...but it's unbelievable that I could possibly have this baby at any time. The reality is that I WILL have this baby within 3 weeks or so, and 3 weeks is NOT very far away. I have an appointment next week on the 1st of June, then again on the 8th of June and Jeremy's leave begins on the 11th of June (although I'm officially due on the 10th). The girls are going away to camp on the 7th thru 9th (and they've informed me that if I go into labor while they're at camp, they do NOT want to be disturbed!). Hahaha. So these last days are filling up quickly, the weather is due to turn nice soon...and very soon I'll be the mommy to 4 sweet babies. God is so good.

The Sweet Innocence of Boyhood

Yesterday Luke walked in the house after tromping around outside for a while and announced, "Mommy, I found TWO caterpillars". "Two caterpillars, huh?" I said, "Let me see!". He ran outside and came back in with something in his hand. I had been reading to the girls and they jumped up to examine his find. When they saw his treasure, they both screamed and laughed, "THOSE AREN'T CATERPILLARS!!"...it turns out he had in his sweet, chubby hands two millipedes! EEeeww!! But the way he stood there, so proud, so innocent...so sweet...melted my heart. All he knew was that they were interesting and he wanted to share them with us. I put them in a container so he could carry them around without having to actually handle them and he named them "Sweetie" and "Pie". What a precious little boy.

Today it is snowing again and Luke is driving me crazy with his boyish energy. If he can't do SOMETHING, he causes trouble...and when he and Abby get together, it makes me insane sometimes. So I put up the bounce house and gave him a beach ball and he's having a blast. Boys...they're enough to drive you absolutely mad, but my goodness, God has certainly made a special place in my heart for my sweet son.

A LOT going on.

As usual it's been forever. Lots has happened and I just don't have the time to go into details. We've been informed that we need to vacate our home ASAP, so we'll be moving in with my parents for the time being--until we can find out where we will be moving to. We have finally gotten orders and Jeremy is going to be stationed in the N. Bay again...YAY!! We're very excited about that. Since I'm due in June though, it doesn't make sense to uproot at this moment and move...so we'll do one move into my parents house and then one after the baby arrives. Lots of stress, lots of inconvenience, lots of tears and frustration, but God will see us through.
I think I've realized that this whole being kicked out of my home thing has throw me into a mild depression. Of course I was stressed and overwhelmed, but yesterday I totally broke down with my husband again, feeling like a COMPLETE failure just because life is so hard with a part time husband, 3 homeschooled children and pregnancy to boot...but I realized that I have been a deadbeat mommy as of late. I haven't cooked a real meal in a while, hadn't really done much cleaning, and was super, super tired all the time....then I lost it and practically cried myself to sleep last night, I was feeling like everyone would be better off without me, blah, blah, blah...ya know, extreme self pity. Then it dawned on me. I'm depressed! I have a choice to make...either wallow in self pity or suck it up and do my best with what I've got. Today was SO much better!! I was up, made a nice homecooked, healthy breakfast. I had my girls all ready for church BEFORE breakfast (and breakfast BEFORE 11!), we went to church and spent some lovely time outside in the SUN (oh lovely, lovely SUN!). Then while Jeremy took Luke out for a little drive, I made a Mexican Fiesta!! Homemade refried beans, rice and tacos...with homemade salsa. My house is nice and clean this evening, everyone was in bed early...I'm feeling much, much better now!! We've got about 2.5 weeks until we move and yes, it's going to be stressful, but we have a goal and something to move toward which brings me so much more peace.
My pregnancy is going well...baby is very wiggly and I feel his little parts ALL over the place. I'm definitely losing steam. I'm very tired, having a really hard time sleeping and am generally uncomfortable. But what do you expect at 33 weeks pregnant? I'm getting a little anxiety at the thought of having another baby...the sleepless nights, lack of time to myself, but again, all it takes is a change in perspective. My children have been wonderful helpers and I have the next 7 or so weeks to train them on the right path so that when this one arrives, we're headed in the right direction. Again, it's a choice I have to make...an effort I have to put out...and with the Lord's strength, it can be done. Jeremy is gone all week and then this weekend we're meeting in Novato for my baby shower! :) I'm very excited to see all of my friends and to really let the thought that I'm having a baby sink in! Maybe once I start opening presents and seeing those little blue outfits it'll seem more real! I am excited, I'm so excited to see how my children react to a baby brother. The hardest part for me is always how the "baby" is going to react to the new baby! I know it will be hard for Luke to not be my tiny guy anymore, but I also know he'll do great with it...he's such a sweetie pie and he's really getting SO big!

Well I need to head off to bed...after a strong dose of TUMS, that fiesta was tasty, but not the second time around! Ugghh...the wonderful things about pregnancy!