Thursday, May 27, 2010

Random Thoughts on a Rainy May Afternoon

It's raining, it's's MAY for heaven's sake!!! This has to be the craziest spring we've ever least as long as I've been alive. We have had more rainy days per week than sunny since, oh, November?! We've had a few tastes of "spring" so far this spring, but no more than 2 or 3 nice days in a row, rudely interrupted by rain or snow...or both. Yesterday and today have been extremely unsettled...sun, rain, thundershowers,'s crazy! Thankfully we haven't planted a garden yet, otherwise all the plants would be dead. It's fun to sit here though and watch the critters outside. It amazes me how, in the midst of a downpour, you can open the door and hear the robins singing their little hearts out. It was hailing pea-sized hail a while ago and the squirrels were out collecting nuts, as if it was just another nice, spring day. My dad had taken his backhoe out and tilled the earth so he could get rid of some of the weeds and prepare the ground for some rye seed he was going to plant (apparently it's a great grass seed--so far it looks very pretty where he's planted it before) and the act of digging up that earth along with this rain has made the birds (including the wild turkeys) and the squirrels some very happy campers. It looks as if most of the seed may have been washed away though...bummer. Oh well, another opportunity for the children to learn to scatter seed (they really enjoy that).

So here I am, 38 weeks pregnant today...trying to summon the energy to do the things I'd like to do, all while fighting the urge to curl up and nap the afternoon away. I feel the time with my children before this baby arrives slipping away, and I'm unable to grasp hold of it due to lack of energy/stamina/desire. I think I'm in a better state of mind this time around though, knowing that adding a child to this family is in no way taking away from what we've already got. Another child is a blessing, an addition, a new adventure. In the past I've always seen a baby as a time sink. I know that sounds horrible, but it's true. I've always kinda had a fear of babies (I'm sure having a baby like Savannah didn't help that fear out!), of the time they take, the sleep they rob...and haven't truly seen them as an asset until a certain age (usually around 2-3 when they become more independent). However, I've done some heart-searching and have realized that I've been looking at it all wrong. In the past week or so I've had a couple of panic attacks (okay, not THAT serious), thinking, "Oh my goodness...I'm NOT READY", but as I've prayed about it (granted, I have not prayed ENOUGH), I've come to realize that I'm really looking forward to meeting this precious little blessing. Even though it will be a slight upheaval to life as we know it, the joy and pleasure he will add to this family is truly something to look forward to. So now I'm finding myself eager to go into labor (think it'll happen naturally this time?!?!) so that I can meet him and we can begin this adventure as a family of 6--while trying not to rush this precious time I have with my children before he arrives (no doubt a little SUNSHINE would help the wait though!). I honestly cannot believe that I'm 38 weeks pregnant though. I feel the strain on my body, the exhaustion and the aches and pains...but it's unbelievable that I could possibly have this baby at any time. The reality is that I WILL have this baby within 3 weeks or so, and 3 weeks is NOT very far away. I have an appointment next week on the 1st of June, then again on the 8th of June and Jeremy's leave begins on the 11th of June (although I'm officially due on the 10th). The girls are going away to camp on the 7th thru 9th (and they've informed me that if I go into labor while they're at camp, they do NOT want to be disturbed!). Hahaha. So these last days are filling up quickly, the weather is due to turn nice soon...and very soon I'll be the mommy to 4 sweet babies. God is so good.

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