Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I need a companion.

I remember thinking this (and perhaps even blogging it) a year ago at this time. A heavily pregnant woman should have a person designated to her for her pleasure--to serve her and to keep her company. I have my husband home for 2 weeks and although he wasn't at my beck and call (completely!), it was so nice to have him around. Now that he's back to work, I miss his company...and his help. I was telling him last night that before his leave, I was doing just fine, but after him being home for 2 weeks, I no longer feel capable of doing all of this on my own. I know that I am, but seriously, the last days/weeks of waiting for a baby--along with all of the bigness and soreness and all that goes with it, are so difficult to sit and wait through. It would be so nice to have someone (my MOMMY would be great! Or my sister!), just to be here with me. As it is, the day is rainy and dreary...we cannot go outside and I don't feel like doing anything anyway...and it makes the days drag. I've already taken a nap...and honestly, I could probably easily go back to sleep again if given the opportunity!

But alas, that's living in dream land...it's back to reality. Time to wake the baby, correct and continue school work and just enjoy my children.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Luke is hilarious!

Tonight Luke said, "I like easy jokes...like, 'what's 5+5?'".
Jeremy looked at him and said, "What? You think math is a big joke?" and Luke started cracking up. He's such a goof ball. Then he said, "Why did the frog cross the road? Because it had a knife sticking out of his eye!" and he started cracking up again...oh how wonderful it must be to be able to crack yourself up like that! He said another whopper, but I don't remember it now.

A bit later he told me that I'm the "meanest mommy he ever had". That's totally okay with me though because I'm also the "nicest mommy", "prettiest mommy", "sweetest mommy", etc. he's "ever had" at any given moment. Fickle boy!

Saturday, May 28, 2011


Yes, I'm in denial.
I am almost 39 weeks pregnant and I cannot believe I'm pregnant at all. I'm huge, I'm uncomfortable, this baby wiggles like mad, but I still cannot believe I'm going to be holding her in a very short time. It seems so surreal to me that there is a little human baby in my tummy, an eternal soul, sent to me by God to raise up for His glory. It just seems too, well...I don't know...just strange.

I don't remember feeling this way when I was pregnant with Savannah or Abby. I don't know why, I mean, with Savannah I had never had a baby EVER, but it was exciting and crazy and wonderful...but not this weird feeling that maybe I'm just crazy and am not actually GOING to be having a baby afterall. With Abby, same thing. I don't remember feeling this way at all. But when I was in the hospital with Luke and Aaron and now, I have this really strange feeling that maybe I'm imagining it all. It's strange because in reality I KNOW I'm pregnant. I KNOW I'm having a baby soon and I'm very excited and I love this baby and I'm looking forward to it...not to mention that nearly ALL of my thoughts and my language pretty much centers around baby and labor and contractions, etc. I know, I drive my dad and probably my husband (and perhaps EVERY other person I'm around) absolutely NUTS because there is not much more I can think of to talk about because it's on my mind SO much. Anyone who has EVER been pregnant knows what I'm talking about...these last few weeks or days or whatever they may be, it's hard to take your mind off of every little wiggle and tightening and twinge. You're waiting with everything you have for that moment when you KNOW that you're in labor and will be giving birth to that precious little bean who has completely taken over your body in the past 9 months.

I'm extra excited this time too because my girls are at the age now where they're really excited about it all as well. They were last time, but this time the whole labor thing has them excited. Every time I take a deep breath or sigh or stand and hold my tummy, Savannah will ask, "Are you okay? Are you having contractions?". It's really cute. I'm really looking forward to going into labor naturally...and I really hope that this will be the first baby to come BEFORE or VERY near her due date. Either way, within the next 3 weeks, I'll be holding a new little pink (as far as we know) bundle...a new little joy to learn about, to care for and to love. It's all so very exciting!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Nesting of another sort...

Today I had a list a mile long of things I needed to accomplish: doctor, dentist, DMV, pre-register at the hospital and return some moldy bread to the store. It actually went surprisingly fast and I got ALL of this accomplished in under 4 hours! It feels good to have my ducks in a row. I'm not feeling 100% ready for this baby and I don't think I will simply because I know it's going to be hard and I'm going to have to go through some adjustments with EVERYONE, but especially with Aaron, my little baby...and honestly, I'm not looking forward to it COMPLETELY. I'm certainly not dreading it my any means, I'm so excited about seeing this baby girl...I love feeling her little wiggles and playing with her little feet (which are ALWAYS on my right hand side by my ribs). I look forward to seeing her sweet, TINY little parts...hearing her little noises and nursing another baby. So yes, I'll say I'm ready. I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

This evening I made up the last of our apples into applesauce, I vacuumed and mopped the house and I'm getting ready to go scrub the grout in my bathroom. Jeremy has weeded and feeded the grass (our grass is pretty funky and needs some serious help, so this will be wonderful!). I feel like nesting is taking place in full force and, Praise God, I've got the energy enough to do what I need to do. I even got a little rest in this afternoon AND read 2 chapters of our book to Savannah!

So quick update on pregnancy: I have not had an internal exam yet, so I have no idea about any dilation or anything of that sort. My Strep B test was NEGATIVE, so I'm VERY excited about that. That means that when I go into labor, I don't have to hurry to the hospital. I don't need an IV, etc. It will be wonderful because I was positive with both of my boys. I've had a lot of swelling in my feet. Last night it was pretty bad, so I went into the doctor today, just to be safe. I feel fine, it was just different from my normal. Everything is fine though. My blood pressure is fine, no protein in my urine, etc. It's just excess fluid. My doctor told me that I "carry nicely", for a very pregnant woman, that's quite a compliment! :) I have heartburn like you wouldn't believe. I've had to drink baking soda water multiple times a day, especially in the evening...and even then I wake up at night and my esophagus is just BURNING. YUCK!!! I need to bring some Tums to bed with me because it's very uncomfortable. I'm not sleeping well, but since Jeremy has been home for this week and a half, he's been SO incredibly helpful. I usually sleep decent in the morning, but Aaron has been waking up early, so Jeremy gets up with him and lets me sleep until 7:30-8ish. It's been awesome! I don't know how I'd be getting by without him right now, it's been such a blessing having him here.

Hmmm...what else?!?! That's about all I can think of...I'm too sore to sit here any longer, so I shall go for now--my grout is awaiting me! :) I don't presume that I'll be going into labor any time soon, but I can always hope, right? As long as I can get through each day, by God's grace, and mostly maintain a positive attitude, I'm just gonna keep chuggin' along. I'm really, really hoping to go into labor naturally and to have an unmedicated birth. Only the Lord knows how it will all pan out, but I'm working toward those goals with a positive anticipation of what is to come.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Luke calls Popsicles Possicles. I think it's so cute. It turns out that we've got another big fan of Possicles around here...it's fun to have Aaron share in dessert time in a way that isn't TOO terribly unhealthy and man, does he ENJOY it! :)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Standing Tall

This evening Aaron started standing on his own. He'd stand up against me and then let go and stand for a good 20-30 seconds! What a big boy!!

He's gotta be teething again too...he was COVERED in drool this afternoon...and his nose was running, and he was exceptionally fussy today. Poor guy, there is just SO much going on at this stage in life!

Submission: Accomplished

I've been reading this wonderful book, Raising Godly Tomatoes. It's a parenting book with lots of scripture back up and the author herself is the mother of 10 children, so I think she knows a thing or two.

Anyway, one of the main premises of the book is getting your child to submit to your authority. If your child submits to your authority, there are so many battles that you don't have to face in the future. So this morning Aaron was having a full out temper tantrum. He has learned how to get through our gate on the stairs and take off upstairs. Unless the gate is TOTALLY latched (which I now have to train my big kids in), he can push it in against the stairs and make a little Aaron-sized hole that he can get through. So I grabbed him and told him no and he threw a major fit. So I took him to the sofa and sat him on my lap. When he started to scream louder and wiggle off of my lap, I gave him a gentle swat on the tush and told him "NO". He'd scream and cry and wail and we did this over and over for probably 5 minutes or so (it felt like longer than it really was). Finally he decided to submit. He stopped screaming, he stopped wiggling. Once I was sure he was done, I turned him around and snuggled him. This was the sweetest moment...he laid his head on my shoulder and just cuddled. It was TOO sweet. He was perfectly cheerful afterwards. Apparently showing a child who is boss really does work--go figure. It's definitely not fun and you really have to be willing to win any battle you choose to fight, which takes a lot of time, commitment and stick-tuitiveness on the parents part. I think it's worth it though, to have a child who is happy and comfortable knowing that they are being taken care of. Right now it seems like there are so many battles to be faced, I'm definitely not taking them all on at this point--there is just no way I can put in that energy when I'm this close to having another baby...but sleep-training MUST commence. We had another potentially rough night last night and I just thought, "No, there is NO way I can go on like this". My 11 month old does NOT need 20+oz of formula during the night. He's going to HAVE to learn to fall back asleep on his own. When I left his room last night (after his bottle), he started crying again. I went in, held him, put him back in bed and, of course, he cried. I picked him up again, put him back down again and left. He cried for maybe a minute or two and slept for the next 6 hours or so. My goal is to get him taking in more calories during the day--sticking with the bottle for naps and bedtime (and first thing in the morning), but not giving him a bottle before 5am. I know he doesn't NEED it, it's just the "easy" way out for me, but it always comes back to bite me in the rear. So I may be in for a few rough nights, but in the long run it will all be worth it...not to mention that this is the time to take this on--while Jeremy is home and we don't have another baby yet.

Friday, May 13, 2011


Thunder the Rat.

Aaron Photos....

I took these photos a while ago, but didn't get to posting them. I figured it was about time to do SOME updating, before I have no time left in my life for anything! In 2 days, Aaron will be 11 months old...it's amazing. This past year has flown by...I know we had a ton going on and all, but really...I think this has been the fastest year of my life yet!

Procrastination = Photos!

Yes, I'm procrastinating. Actually, there is nothing I'm SUPPOSED to be doing, I just don't feel like doing ANYTHING. There is plenty I COULD be doing, but I'm lazy and I just don't want to...so instead, I decided to go through some photos and post them...because my children are just so cute!




Birthday Presents Are Wonderful!!!

Fun With Glasses

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Today's Blunders

Just wanted to note these things.
Poor Aaron, it's hard to be the baby with 3 older siblings. Today I told Luke SPECIFICALLY not to dump sand on Aaron in the sand box because he did it yesterday and it made a mess. Aaron didn't care, but Jeremy had to change a VERY sandy diaper and bathe a very sandy boy. So Aaron and Luke are playing together so sweetly--it's SO cute to see my two boys playing together with trucks in the sand box. There is just something about seeing boys being boys...and making boy noises. I just love it. So all of a sudden, Luke says, "Mommy, look at Sand Guy!" I look over and Aaron is COVERED with sand. When I say covered, I mean absolutely COVERED...like his hair was GREY! Yesterday it was just a small amount, this was a good quart + of sand. *sigh* Poor Aaron...again, he didn't seem to care, but he was SO dirty and dusty and yucky. It took Jeremy like 6 q-tips to get all of the sand out of his ears this evening. UGGGHHHH...LUKE!!! Yes, he got in trouble for that! What in the world was he thinking?!?!?

Then later Aaron was finished with his dinner, he had had a little popsicle (which he LOVES) and was sitting on Jeremy's lap when Savannah came in with HER popsicle. She is such a sweet girl with a heart of gold and she just wanted to share her popsicle with her baby brother. She gave him a lick before she had even had one of her own yet, but it STUCK to his lips. Poor girl, she didn't know any better, so she just pulled it off...OH NO!!!! It still makes me sick to think of it...you know that feeling that I bet ANY Mommy feels when her child is hurt...he started SCREAMING. She started crying and saying, "I'm sorry, Aaron....I'm SO sorry!" Of course she didn't mean to, but she ripped a ton of skin off of his lips and they were bleeding like crazy. Ohhhh...it was SO sad!! I don't know who I felt worse for, her or Aaron. He got over it pretty quickly, but I know she felt SO incredibly bad for hurting her brother and I felt SO bad for her because she was only trying to be a sweetie and share with her baby...and she ended up hurting him. So sad. Those are the moments as a mommy (and a very pregnant one at that) that bring tears to my eyes. I could have broken down and cried with her I felt so bad.

So those are today's major blunders...there were many, many more small ones...lots of frustrations and loss of patience (from them AND me--mostly me). I did NOT sleep well last night at all...my back has been SO sore. It feels like Lilah is sitting RIGHT on top of my tail bone. I looked back at my blog from this point in my pregnancy with Aaron and I was having issues with my tail bone at this point as well...it feels like I need my hips/back realigned. I keep trying to crack my back and it's just not working. I'm so physically tired...not so much sleepy tired right now as it is just achey tired. I have so many things to do and most of them involve standing, which is becoming more and more uncomfortable. I have one, 20lb box of apples left to make into applesauce...I've preserved 160lbs of apples thus far (please don't ask what in the WORLD I was thinking, I have no idea, other than the fact that they were cheap, cheap, cheap and I couldn't pass it up!) I'm so ready to just sit. I want a big, comfortable chair and I just want to sit...actually, no...I just want to lie down and stay that way for a while. Sadly, it wouldn't last because I have to use the potty every 20 seconds these days. Oh pregnancy...lovely, lovely pregnancy. I have to try not to complain, I definitely don't HATE being pregnant...I generally love it, but these last couple of weeks are SO wearing. My body is SO sore. I'm still not sure if I'd rather feel this way for longer or have a newborn...I'm not sure which one scares me the most...thankfully, I have NOTHING to say about it. I was just talking to Jeremy tonight though about women of ages past...I have it SO good...and yet it is quite difficult...I can't even imagine how rough their lives were!

Monday, May 9, 2011

9 Years Ago Tonight

I was admitted to the hospital at Travis AFB. I was getting ready for an induction (but had to wait until ER was over because it was the night that Dr. Green died of brain cancer and everyone wanted to watch it before they started the induction--me included). My parents, sister and brother were all there. I was so excited and so oblivious to the way my life would change in just over 12 hours. Jeremy was in Brunei, half a world away and I missed him so much. I wanted him to be there more than anything, but it wasn't going to happen.

I cannot believe it's been 9 years! Savannah is such a big girl, so sweet, so wonderful, such a fantastic helper. She has a heart of gold and a willingness to help, almost always. She is generally a very up-beat person, generally a peace maker and an all around joy. I feel so blessed that the Lord would entrust a soul like her's to us to raise for His glory. I know I've failed in so many ways already, but by His grace and His grace alone, she is STILL being formed into a godly, beautiful, precious child of His. My prayer for this next year is that she would grow closer to Jesus...that she would truly KNOW Him, desire Him and love Him with all of her heart, her soul and her mind and strength. She recently asked for me to pray with her to be saved and I pray that that commitment would be a powerful, all-consuming one in her life...that she would commit herself and her entire life to serving our Master. I love Savannah so much, she is such a blessing and I'm so excited to be able to celebrate 9 wonderful years with her tomorrow! :) Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of Savannah!

I think I might go crazy!

Yes, I do. I really, really do. I feel like today I've been walking around circles, doing nothing but picking up after children. The other day, the day Savannah had her birthday party, in lieu of a pinata or some other fun thing, the children spent the afternoon chasing and eventually catching a parakeet. Yes, they caught a parakeet. What a strange thing, but I jest not. So now we've got ourselves a pet parakeet. She's cute, she's pretty...she's EXTREMELY annoying!!! You see, the thing that got her into OUR house in the first place is that her wings are not clipped. So now it's become a multiple time a day thing that I hear "whoops!" and hear feathers flapping and exuberant chirping. "Polly escaped again!". Oh horray! That's just what I wanted to spend the next 2 hours doing. Laundry can wait, school can wait, heavens, it's not like my floor needs to be vacuumed. Let's spend the next 2 hours trying to catch a bird as it flies around my living room, pooping on everything in creation. Yes, that sounds like what I had planned for the day. I just watched a youtube video on how to clip the wings, but it kinda scares me, as much as she annoys me, I do not want to hurt her. It looks pretty straight forward, but still a bit nerve-wracking. I may make Jeremy do it. So, we FINALLY caught her, got her back into the cage and I walk into the kitchen to Aaron, blissfully digging through the garbage can. He's got garbage everywhere...and of COURSE, his FAVORITE thing to get into is the coffee grounds (in this case it was a coffee filter full of herbal tea). So now I get to spend the NEXT hour wrestling down a strong, opinionated baby and getting the tea out of his hands, hair, feet, etc. and then bend over and sweep it all up...because God knows, there is NOTHING I LOVE more at this point in pregnancy than bending over. Lord give me patience!!!!
I love the quote from Phyllis Diller, "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
Soooooooo true! Unfortunately, you can't get a whole lot done with a thousand feet of snow covering your walk, so cleaning MUST still be done...it's just completely pointless.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Prepping for Baby

As of tomorrow, I have 4 weeks until my due date...I'm officially under the one month until my due date mark, so things are definitely, quickly closing in! I think it's about time I started thinking about getting ready for this little blessing to grace us with her presence. I'm excited. I'm looking forward to going into labor, I can't wait to see her sweet little face and to have another tiny blessing in this house. But I'm also scared. I'm fearful of my ability to do what needs to be done, to maintain my sanity and my patience and to be a good mommy to the precious gifts I already have. There are times lately when I'm tired, I'm sore and I just want peace and rest when I lose my temper with my children. Yes, it's "justified" because it's usually over things my children should be doing and didn't...or because they're taking their sweet time doing it, but that in no way makes it okay for me to lose it with them. I ask for their forgiveness many times a day and thankfully, they're always quick to forgive and to ask for forgiveness in return. I recently hung up a list in their bedroom reminding them of their nightly routine. The last thing in the list is, "Have you asked for forgiveness for any wrongs you may have committed today?" It's such a wonderful reminder for all of us to look back over the day and to recognize that perhaps we HAVE done something, offended someone, and need to seek forgiveness before we go to sleep. It's a great reminder for me too as I tuck them in and they ask for forgiveness of each other or of me, I reflect on the wrongs I've committed and hold those sweet little souls tight and tell them that I too am a sinner in need of a Savior...that we are FELLOW sojourners on this path to glory and that we ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God. I need that reminder always.

So back to the being fearful part. Last Sunday I went to church and the sermon was about fear and lack of faith and the sinfulness associated with that. Putting myself in the place of God and trying in my own strength to accomplish what He has put me here to do. I know I cannot do it on my own, He knows I cannot do it on my own and He never expected me to. It was a refreshing sermon and a much needed reminder that He has placed me on the path I am and He will enable me to do what I need to do. He has given us this wonderful gift, this sweet little eternal soul (and all of the other ones I already get to hold) and He will give me the ability to do my duty to raise them up in the way they should go. It is in my weakness that He is strong...that I may become less and less and He would be more and more in my life. It is through the struggles and my submission to His will and His plan that my children will see Him more and more clearly. And that, my friends, is what it's all about. It's not about me having it all together. It's not about my home being clean and smelling nice and having fancy meals on the table. It's not about well-groomed children, a rich home school curriculum or daily nature walks with my children. It's all about the raw realness of life. The struggles, the temptations the trials...and the strength of our VERY REAL Savior who works through the gift of His Holy Spirit that He placed within me when I received Him as my Savior. It's about seeing mommy fail and get back up again, ask for forgiveness, get on her knees and seeking the power of the ALMIGHTY that my children will grow and learn and thrive in this crazy world. That is what it is ALL about.
So while my fears focus mainly on my lack of ability, my tiredness and my lack of faith that it will all work out, He is seeking to refine my character through these trials...and who am I to stand in the way of progress? This is what I need more than ANYTHING else on this planet: refinement, relinquishment of "my" control and absolute reliance on His strength and ability to overcome ANY obstacle I may come up against.

Now, I must get a shower and get some much needed rest...I had a fantastic Mother's Day and cannot imagine being more richly blessed than I am already...soon I will continue on the thought of prepping for baby in a more tangible way--bedding, meals, etc. Right now I just need to remember that the real preparation is going on in my heart.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Not So Lucky

This morning didn't work out as I had planned. Aaron awoke at 5:45 and Jeremy went to give him his bottle since he was getting up for work anyway. Aaron was NOT having it. I went in, in hopes of making it work. Nope. No go. He screamed and screamed until I picked him up. It's really hard to let him cry at that time of day when I've got other children who need to sleep. I know it may eventually come to that, in fact, it WILL come to that if he doesn't just deal with it. Now by 6:45 he's yawning and yawning and looks super tired--hmmmm, I wonder why?!?! Little stinker. I really could have used another hour or so of sleep, I'm rather sleepy too! Oh well...you win some, you lose some.

Thursday, May 5, 2011


First tidbit: Luke can ride a bike with no training wheels!! :) He had been borrowing one of those bikes with no pedals and was riding it all over creation and having a blast, but he had to give it back. The girls decided that they'd teach him how to ride his bike for real, and it didn't take long at all to catch on. The only thing is that he needs someone to get him going at this point, but I'm sure in no time he'll be riding around like a maniac!

Second tidbit: Aaron now has 2 teeth!! I'm not sure EXACTLY when that second one popped through, but it was very recently. He is not a fan of showing off his new teeth, so it was hard to see the progress, but they are both there now for sure!!

So that's it for now. :)

I *heart* Sleep

The past two nights Aaron has let me sleep. Not only has he let me sleep, I've been ABLE to sleep, really well. Aaron has gotten 2 teeth now and is still recovering from the tail end of a mild cold, so we had some pretty rough nights, but he seems to be back on track again--this time I hope it lasts a while. The past two mornings he's awakened at 5:30am. In my book, that's not such a bad thing, usually...but the fact that he then thinks it's time to get up for the day is NOT okay with me. Normally I'd go in, give him a bottle and hope and pray that he'd fall back to sleep before it was too late to even worry about it anymore. Often it'd be close to 6:30 before he'd finally be asleep, then I only get a very small amount of time to sleep. So yesterday, when he awoke at 5:30, I decided to try something different. I made his bottle, went into his room and handed it to him. He rolled over, fussed a tiny bit, drank his bottle and went back to sleep until 9am!!! I went right back to bed and slept in until around 7:30 and felt SO refreshed! So this morning I tried the same thing. He took his bottle and went back to sleep until 8! What a blessed, blessed thing sleep is. Especially if I don't have to be in his room for an hour at the time of day I usually get my best Z's! I'm just praying that this new thing will be a new, permanent thing and that our early mornings would no longer be a struggle. I'm still giving him a bottle for naps and holding him until he's asleep, but at this point, not only is it just sweet snuggle time, it's also one of the few times throughout the day that I can just sit, close my eyes, put my feet up and relax. It's usually no longer than 15 minutes and it's a very nice time of peace and quiet for me.

So, update on my pregnancy: I'm 35w3d. I just had my group b strep test done yesterday--that was fun and exciting. Jeremy could not get any time off, so I ended up taking Aaron with me to the doctor. The big kids stayed home with my neighbor, Sara (and had a great time!), but Aaron needed a nap (which he did NOT get), and I didn't want to leave him with someone that he's not familiar with. Soooo...I took him with me. I ended up having to hold him while the doctor did his thing (man, was that fun!), but it all worked out. I'll get the results from that next week. I'm supposed to be having weekly appointments now, but I said no way. The last thing I need in my life is to go to the OB once a week! It's bad enough going every OTHER week. If I had someone to watch my children with no worries, that'd be a different story, but I don't. My feet are starting to swell. Not all of the time and mostly on the left side--same thing that happened with Aaron, kinda weird! I've had a bit more motivation to get things done, either it's nesting or the fact that I'm getting some decent sleep finally.

The weather has been pretty warm here the past couple of days. Nothing unbearable, but in the 80's. I could stand it being just a little bit cooler, but who am I to make demands on the weather?

Okay, that's all I have to say for now. I'm too tired to continue!