Sunday, May 6, 2007

I'm missing that "Quantity" time!

I'm at my parents house this weekend. We had a family birthday party with Jeremy's family yesterday and while Jeremy threw a "bachelor party" for Mark, we came up here to enjoy the mountains--and for me to get a much needed break, courtesy of Grandma and Papa! It's always a nice break up here because my parents help me SO much with the children, but unfortunately we're back to square one with the whole "disruption to normal baby life" thing. Just as the girls were gettin SO adaptable, we went and had Luke. *sigh* Of course I adore my baby boy and am SO happy we have him, but babies are so difficult sometimes. He didn't really sleep yesterday at the birthday party...and he did NOT sleep in the car (for some odd reason, NONE of my children slept in the car as babies--what's the deal??). Last night he was so overtired it took FOREVER to get him to sleep. Today he barely napped, and did a TON of crying before he DID sleep. Poor little guy...he's so much like Savannah. Not only does he look a ton like her, he's super snoopy like her as well. The difference is that he's relaxed and easy-going...she was NOT at this age. He just has the hardest time falling asleep though because those little eyeballs just will NOT close! So I think I'll be coming home early..rather than leaving Tuesday, I think I'll go home tomorrow instead, just to get back to normal life again. Oh well, eventually Luke will adapt and will be as easy as the girls are now. Baby hood can be so rough though. I'm feeling more and more convinced every day that 3 children is perfect for us. I'm not sure that Jeremy totally agrees, but as I've said before...HIS workload does not increase with the more children we have like mine does. I adore my babies, but I'm just NOT supermom! I would love to be, but I'm not. The hardest thing this time around has been how little time I seem to have with the girls. It went from 100% of my time being devoted to them to almost NONE! And I'm feeling very guilty about it and like less of a mom than I would like. Add to that that I'm often tired and want to take a nap while Abby and Luke are sleeping, so I don't spend that time with Savannah. She's a rather needy girl too, so in some ways I know that this "neglect" is good for her, to teach her to be more independent...but it breaks my heart to tell them over and over, "I'm busy...", "Luke needs me", etc. Top that all off with the slight anxiety I'm feeling about starting to homeschool and 3 sounds like more than enough for me!!
Speaking of's bedtime for the girls, and I need to go spend some time with them and let them know how much their mommy loves them. What I lack in quantity these days, I need to try to make up for in quality...they always say it's the QUALITY, not the quantity...I say that's a big, fat joke!

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