...apparently not. Another baby, another due date...what's the deal? I was so hopeful that this baby would come before the due date, but I guess that just wasn't meant to be. I mean, I'm okay with it and all..I still have those moments where I just cannot believe I'm even PREGNANT, let alone ready to deliver at any given moment, but at this time in our lives, we have so much stuff going on: we need to find a new home, move, Jeremy starts a new job, we'll be living together as a family for the first time in 9 months again. So I'm kinda eager for things to move on in a way. I also look forward to having a bit more energy, getting the children used to having a new baby around (getting myself used to it as well), and starting a new adventure with our family...and NONE of this can happen until this little guy shows his sweet little face! But alas, as I was reflecting today I thought, I really have a problem with contentment. I'm such a forward thinker, always living in the future that I never take the time to really enjoy the here and now. I've got 3 beautiful, sweet, wonderful children that I don't fully appreciate because I'm too busy looking forward to having a new one. Each day is a blessing, full of it's own challenges and blessings and smiles and sweet things, but I find myself looking forward to all of those things once --- happens. I waste so much of my time online, passing time, looking forward to the next day and what it will bring (and somehow in my little fantasy fast forward land, in those coming days I'm darn near perfect--so far from where I am in the here and now). So, as I await the arrival of this little, brand new blessing from the Lord, I'm going to put my full effort into appreciating every moment I have with my CURRENT blessings. I realize I'm not perfect...I'm VERY far from that, but with every ounce of energy I DO have, I'm going to invest it in the here and now...appreciating the bounty the Lord has ALREADY bestowed upon me, knowing that I have so much to look forward to, but not projecting into that future life and that future me...I need to spend the here and now developing who I am, so that when "then" does arrive, I'll be who the Lord would have me be: ready for His blessings, ready for His challenges and with my heart fully committed to Him and to my family, every moment of every day.
So...as I wait for this baby I'll try to be patient, knowing that the Lord has the PERFECT time of arrival in mind for this little guy, whether it goes with my schedule or not...and as I patiently wait, I'll enjoy being a very pregnant mommy of 3 (with one to come).